A Man Won't Make You Happy

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photography // Coco Dandridge

creative direction // Kiah McBride

Nobody wants to talk about

the work that’s necessary long before

he hops in your DM’s.

And few speak to the dry bones of skeletons past that need clearing before you say “I do.” It’s not sexy, becoming whole. It doesn’t sound as easy as dressing up insecurities or masking mistakes.

It’s work, that inner self.

It takes a certain level of commitment to right your wrongs, and it takes a certain kind of humble to admit that you didn’t know how to get it right to begin with.

We talk about being real with

everyone but ourselves.

We voice what we want, make lists of our expectations, complain that nobody matches our standards, but never stop to question, do we even give ourselves what we’re asking for? Nah, we just expect someone to come in and provide what we’re lacking. Empty vessels desperate to be poured into.

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We’re chasing the wrong thing.

We want to be Cardi B but offset the possibility of holy matrimony by focusing on wedding rings and the “finer” things instead of fine-tuning the parts of us that need repair.

We want a mechanic, not a partner.

We want quick fixes and half-priced results.

It don’t work that way.

To keep it real with you—you attract who you are. And quite frankly I believe I deserve the best. So I challenged myself daily to become what I’m worth. My own savior, I became the solution instead of waiting on a man to swoop in and save the day.

Conflict resolution—I’m the answer, no longer the problem.

I’m the superhero dressed in the cape.